So strange

I went to visit with Ryan's parents this weekend.  As I drove the 45 minutes to see them, I felt very sad that I used to make that drive to see Ryan.  I lost it when I got off the exit.  It was horrible knowing that I would not be able to see him.  I was meeting his mom at the mall, and I made it there first.  I sat in my car reading a book about grief that a friend brought me.  I looked over my shoulder a few times to make sure his mom was not there yet.  I looked up and saw the Panera Bread that we ate at after church on Sundays.  I started crying again.  Being in that town without him is so hard.  I know some days will be better than others, but this whole thing just sucks.  

I had a great visit with his parents.  They are always wonderful to me.  I will forever be thankful of the way they have treated me through this.  I'm not sure most parents would involve a girlfriend the way they have.  I never want to intrude and they have included me in everything from the very beginning.  They even drove to my house to tell me the news of the crash.  I know that was hard on them and that they had other things to do and other people to tell.  But they cared enough to track me down to tell me in person.  I love them very much and I hate that we got so close only after Ryan's death.  

This week is the last week of my Level III training course!  I have so much to do this week and can't wait for Friday.  

My brother flies in on Tuesday to my hometown.  I am going to visit this weekend.  I am so excited about seeing him.  It has been FOREVER!  We were not expecting him until November, and I am happy to see him early!  

Side note:  I read on my friend's blog (Ashley) that a friend of hers had a date this weekend.  That has me wondering if her friend might be my friend.  If so, I might have some hurt feelings if I'm not told about this certain date from this certain mutual friend.  HINT, HINT!!!!!  With that said, I hope this person had a wonderful date, whoever they are!